Nuttier Than A Fruit Cake…Yet He Studied Classical Tae Kwon Do With Me.
Saturday, June 12th, 2010
He had attached parachute webbing across the insides of his car because he felt that that material was most excellent for holding his auto together on the inside. He had fire extinguishers screwed to every surface. He had a dial on his dash to give extra juice to his brake lights, and he turned it whenever he faced away from the sun so that drivers behind him could see when he braked.
This was all surface stuff, though. The most impressive thing that Mud Car did was memorize the times of all the traffic lights in San Jose. He could traverse that large town without ever hitting a stop light.
Unfortunately, when it came to the karate, he was just as crazy. He couldn’t stretch his limbs, couldn’t control what his body was going to do, and, because of this lack of control, it hurt to work out with him. Just being in his presence you could feel the firecrackers in his mind exploding into the universe.
One day, in class, he interrupted the instructor to complain about a pain in his shin. “It doesn’t hurt, but it keeps bothering me, do you know how to make the pain in my shin go away?” My instructor looked at me with rage in his eyes, I suppose he didn’t want to look at Mud Car because he would murder him, and he said, “Hit your leg with a lead pipe…that’ll make the pain go away.”
I suppose the ability to drive other people insane is the deciding point in this matter of whether a person is goofy or not. Because of this Mud Car never made it to Black Belt. He just didn’t have the mental maturity that is the mark of a black belt.
One day, however, a new instructor came to the school, and Mud Car was promoted to Black Belt within a month…and then he left the school. He had achieved his goal, and that was all he wanted, and the new instructor knew that was the best and most efficient way to get rid of Mud Car. Yet, I missed Mud Car.
He was crazy, but so is the guy who attacks you on the street, so if you could last a session with Mud Car without getting injured, you knew your art was effective. Furthermore, there was a shift of standard here, for Mud Car was promoted because he could drive people nuts, not because he was good. Finally, I think that is where the True Art started disappearing…schools, even schools like Tae Kwon Do or Kenpo or classical karate, did not administer soothing discipline to the insane, they just promoted them to get rid of them.
If you want to go crazy through the martial arts…drop on by Punch ‘Em Out. If you want to go sane through the martial arts…try Monster Martial Arts. 7




