Love Weight Loss

Most marriage problems stem from a lack of communication in the marital relationship. While most couples would tell you that they work hard to communicate with their spouse, most spouses feel that there is a lack of communication on their partner’s behalf. This is mostly because from each person’s perspective they believe that they are effectively communicating their point of view, but the information is not being clearly received on the other side.

A lack of communication, however, is actually something that can be resolved relatively simply and one of the best ways to resolve it is to set up communication rules. This means basically guidelines that will help improve the effectiveness of your communication as a couple.

1. Utilize A Speaking Item- One of the main problems with effective communication is that couples tend to speak at the same time, trying to get their points across. This leads to them being unable to hear and take in what the other is saying, therefore making it more difficult to resolve the issue they are facing. Instead of speaking at one time, have an item (such as a stick or a shell) and use it as the speaking item. When someone is speaking they will hold this item and the other is only allowed to sit there and listen. Once the first person is finished with what they have to say it is then time to pass the item to the listener, who will now become the speaker. It is very important that you do not speak unless you are holding the item. This will allow for each to get their points across as well as listen closely at what your partner is saying.

2. Stick To The Subject- Many times when a couple tries to communicate they start bringing up other issues from the past. They have such a history together that one thing leads to another and then finally back into an argument. Addressing only one issue at a time can really help to focus the communication so that both partners are on the same page.

3. Think Before You Speak- Attempt to not discuss issues instantly, as an alternative have a waiting period. Generally as something first comes about everybody can be a bit more defensive as well as roused. Making a special day and time to sit down and address issues for the week, serves as a more beneficial way to discuss situations. After a brief time has elapsed you’ll in all probability be better capable to converse about the issue without converting the communicating into a fired up confrontation.

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There are millions of articles telling you about marriage counseling, but very few articles tell you how to have a successful marriage. Sure you can fix it after marriage problems arise, but wouldn’t it be nice to know the things that make for a successful marriage? Well, having a successful marriage is as simple as knowing your ABC’S.

A – ALWAYS treat each other with respect and kindness. Love is an important aspect of a marriage but without respect for each other communication breaks down and the marriage begins to crumble. Respect is the cornerstone of a good relationship and no marriage can survive without it.

B – BE a friend to your spouse. It is easy to have sex with them and to share a home, but be your spouse’s best friend. Be someone that they can confide in and trust with their thoughts, feelings and desires. Friendship is truly the key to a long lasting, happy marriage and most couples who stay together for decades claim that their spouse is their best friend in the world.

C – CARRY them. Don’t be afraid to carry your spouse through their difficult times in life and don’t be afraid to get carried some of the time too. When personal tragedies arise, we can all use someone to be there for us and be strong for us. Having a relationship in which one person can help take care of the other in their time of need, is a valuable part of a marriage, and one of the things that makes this partnership so special.

S- Remember that your marriage is a SACRED union and should always be in the forefront of your life. You need to treat your marriage like it is special and a unique relationship that will ensure your happiness together for the rest of your life.

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At the beginning of a marriage your spouse can do no wrong. They practically walk on water and everything is perfect. The day to day issues slowly begin to creep in and it is easy to become annoyed at the little things that your spouse does. Over time these slight annoyances can mount and actually cause problems in your marriage.

You have worked hard at your marriage, to keep you and your spouse happy and well adjusted. You will not want to ruin all that you have because of an annoyance, that at one time did not bother you at all. If you follow the tips provided below, you will be able to calming manage these annoyances before they turn into a tsunami.

1. Focus On The Positive- Why do we all to often focus only on the negative things in life? If I only had more money, if only my home was bigger, why did my car have to brake down. These are common questions people ask themselves, instead of saying at: at least I have money in the bank, there are many without homes and I should be happy I have a roof over my head, the car may have broken down but once it is fixed I still have it, not everyone can say that. The same should also be applied to your marriage. No one is perfect, so we need to stop expecting our spouse to be. Instead of getting annoyed that they came home from work late, be happy they have a job and work hard to provide for you. Don’t yell when they spend money on something that you think is silly, instead be thankful that you had the money for the purchase and it has made your spouse happy. Instead of thinking and focusing on how your spouse has annoyed you think of all the ways your life has been better because they are a part of it.

2. Excuse Yourself For A Moment- If you are finding it difficult to focus on the positive step away for a moment to calm your self down. Breathing exercises work wonders with this. Once you have cleared your head, you will be able focus on the positive and speak to your spouse in a calm and rational way.

3. Talk it Out- While some things can be overlooked, others can not. Don’t bring every petty issue to the table, but do take the time to discuss those things that really must be addressed. Wait to talk about them until after they have happened and you cool off a little bit. This will allow you to discuss the issue instead of fighting over it.

4. Create Moments To Spend Together- Take some time in the day, or at least once a week, to spend solely with your spouse. You can leave the kids with a sitter and go out to dinner, plan a romantic getaway together and spend time looking at all the places you can visit and what you will do. Don’t just plan the getaway make sure that you actually go on the getaway. Time for the two of you does not always have to cost money though. It can be staying at home and watching a movie while you snuggle (instead of sitting on opposite ends of the couch), play a board game, or whatever activity that you both enjoy to do. Many couples even choose a show that they both like and once a week sit down to watch it together. This is a great way to schedule partner time for you and your spouse.

5. Turn The Annoyance Into A Joke- Sometimes it is better to laugh then get mad. If you can find a way to make the annoyance humorous, without making fun of your spouse, you will find the annoyance will go away and turn into a joke. Play a game of hide and seek with shoes that are always being left around the house, or freeze their dirty clothes if they always leave them on the floor. Nothing should be done with anger, instead it should be completed with a loving heart. Be careful not to cross a line and do something that will anger or hurt your spouse. My husband has a bad habit of leaving his sleep machine tube out and it brakes all the time because the kids like to play with it. When I make the beds in the morning and notice that he forgot to put it away I will then hide it on him. Each night before bed we would get a good laugh at the different places that I found to hide is tube. It has now gotten to the point that I am saddened when I don’t see it because I know that we will not be playing our game of hide and seek that night. It was the perfect way to turn an annoying (and costly) situation into something fun and bonding.

Remember, living with the same person day in and day out can become very stressful. Follow these steps and you will find that although some of the annoyances may remain, they will no longer seem as large as they once did.

When you are looking for an effective way to rebuild the bond between you and your spouse log onto Light Your Fire at www.lightyourfire.com. It is a wonderful program that will provide greater results than expensive marriage counseling. log onto the site today, and begin making the changes your marriage needs to last many more years..

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